Samael

While struggling under a particularly pathetic wave of self-pity and sorrow last night, I collapsed in my inner sanctum lined with ceiling-fan shadows and infrequent breezes like sighs. While attempting to reach the surface of a particularly dark sea of guilt and self-inflicted hurt, I realized that I was crying. For no known reason, caused by no single discernable thought. My great dark eyes leaked great glass tears, and the great dark night offered little solace to the little girl cowering inside my bruised and blanketed body.

Me! Crying without reason. How absolutely unfathomable. I was sobbing beneath the misty glaze of orange streetlights that filter nightly into my blue-walled jail-of-secrets. It was slightly terrifying, this big brain of mine, when it snapped back to the present and, without hesitation, bellowed out the coordinates of my emotions. Sneered at my sudden fondness for weeping.

"I like to weep," Lestat countered.

I sit and dream of togetherness. Yes. You've figured me out, I postulate. With little effort, though I've been told of my labrythine qualities. Faith is my middle name, you know. Honestly. I was born 'Jessica Faith,' and the irony of that has nipped at my heels since I was old enough to tote a dictionary. Since I was old enough to realize what 'faith' and 'irony' meant. "Do you realize that you have the most beautiful face? Do you realize we're floating in space...? Do you realize that happiness makes you cry?" It's a beautiful song.

"Feel.
Feel.
Feel.
I feel that you should know
I have an empty soul;
It's a warning, it's a warning --
If you lead, if you lead,
I will follow, I will follow.

What am I? What am I?
And they are stomping on the switches.
Take my back roads,
Round my fences
To an empty view.
If you lead, if you lead,
I will follow, I will follow.
What am I? What am I?
And they are stomping on the switches.

Climb the ladder
Straight to heaven
Where the creatures multiply --
Gods and devils.
Take their pillows,
Get in position
To multiply.
Surprise,
Suprise...

It's a warning, it's a warning, it's a warning...
If you lead, if you lead,
I will follow, I will follow.
If you lead, if you lead,
I will follow, I will follow.
And they are stomping on the switches..."

I miss you.