Nevernever

Ever almost choked on a spool of words that you wanted to unwind with your tongue, but didn't have the courage needed to start the sewing? Ever thought that the reason behind your constant skin-changing (I alter appearances whenever it suits me...today is no different) had something to do with reinventing what was moldering, festering, breaking apart on the inside? Ever wonder what chemicals (roilingroilingbubbling...stop) were needed to assuage the flutter-winged fears that nevernever stop nibbling?

Through a river of tingle-feelings and fleshy weakness I often wander. You've removed the dam, the stopper, the precious build-up of cooldemeanor-quietpeoplestudying-conversationcontrol that has taken me (it's always me, it always hurts) years and years and (ice age coming) years to construct.

You can't shove me over the edge and expect me to fly. Push me more and hope that I don't snap. I can't (CAN'T) deal with it all at once (is it secret? is it safe?)...I can't be whatwhowhere you want just because you insist [stop] that I can.

I am becoming what I never wanted. I am delving into spaces too clear and cold for comfort. I am throwing out raw, genuine, terrifying phrases [thought-pieces] that I swore would never surface.

There's a sign in the window that complains of nearly-sated things. You'd (me, him, all of them) better be careful of the white glass kernels...I won't be held responsible when all that you believed to be true shatters ("frozen heart and a soul on fire). Oh. I'm so sick of attempting to relate on a truthful level (I want to repeat that word senselessly). I'm sick of this/thing/hurts.

"Did you ever stop to notice
All the children dead from war?
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth...the weeping shores?"

I can't even breathe.