Ohne Dich

I am me.

Take it or leave it.

[Breaking apart. Watch. Watch. Wait...]

Want to know?

In one sweeping generalization, I must admit that I'm fond of the shape I've molded myself into. Despite those little storms that sweep over me, despite the imprints little lost feet leave on my insides, despite the weeping sores still unhealed, I am happy with who I've painted myself up to be. With the player I've made sweep across the stage. "All the world's a stage," after all. Remember?

I'll tell you.

So what if I choose to wear my greasepaint home?

[Fall into sleep. I want to assuage your fear. Cut your demons loose. Give me the reigns.]

Here. Now turn me on...

"Aus der Bohne und in das Licht
ein Wesen mich zu gehen drangt
fur die selbe Sache und das alte Leid
meine Tranen mit Gelachter fangt
und auf der Matte fault ein junger Leib
wo das Schicksal seine Puppen lenkt
fur die selbe Sache und das alte Leid
weiss ich endlich hier wird nichts verschenkt...

Aus der Bohne und in das Nichts
weiss jeder was am Ende bleibt
dieselbe Sache und das alte Leid
mich so langsam in den Wahnsinn treibt
und auf der Matte tobt derselbe Krieg
mir immer noch das Herz versengt
dieselbe Sache und das alte Leid
weiss ich endlich...

Ich will ficken
Nie mehr das alte Leid."


Androgyny, chewed-on lips, bloody mouths, a perpetually damaged psyche, your clothes on my floor, obscure intelligence far superior to anything I pretend to know, curious airs of mystique, aching, the word 'fuck,' nails on skin, reciting deliciously-intriguing lyrics, being relentlessly pursued for nothing but sins of the flesh, bondage...unbridled lust coupled with rage.

You all make me giggle. Am I here for a reason? Poor believers. Come and nestle in my heretic-arms. Do I seem okay? I really am. I promise. I'm strangely cheerful at the moment. In the blink of an eye, there was no one attending. It doesn't really matter where it all began...all I know, I got covered in darkness. Covered in darkness. I want to shriek that! I'm ready for our lightning storm, boy! I am. Oh, I am. My eyes are a little sticky. Crying. Maybe. I miss my sissy. Miss my other half. Horrendously. Turning pages over...run away to nowhere. Miss my sissy. Uh-oh. Making myself sad again. Look. Another night and still I'm trying to write half-legible things. Voila. For you.

You.

Oh, you.